Every Thursday you meet up with your best friend at 6:00pm to workout and catch up. One Thursday your girlfriend says “hey, I know you meet up with your friend on Thursday’s but I really want to have dinner tonight.” Most guys will bail on their friend and go out to dinner and subsequently have failed one of her tests. It seems harmless, but do this once and you can bet that next Thursday there will be a movie that she just has to see as well. Even though she is begging and pleading for you to go to dinner, her feminine core doesn’t want this, she is instinctively testing you to see if she can knock you off of your center.

Women want to know that you are a strong and centered guy. When you break your weekly routine for them, they will continue to test you on it knowing that if the pattern continues then you are weak and not high value. Passing this test doesn’t mean blowing her off, she’s reaching out to you because she genuinely does want to see you. The way to pass this test is to say “sorry honey, I can’t tonight, let me take you out to dinner this Saturday, are you going to starve to death if you have wait that long?” By adding an element of playfulness you are showing your confidence and by not allowing her to bend your plans she knows that you’re not one of the 80% of guys that she can walk all over, this confidence is what she wants.

Women are constantly testing your strength, most guys end up failing time and time again until they eventually become her door mat. A lot of men find themselves five years down the road in a relationship with a woman who has no respect for him because he didn’t have the courage to stand up to her, own his position and pass her tests. She eventually begins to resent him and ultimately loses attraction for him because of it. When a woman is truly in love with you she will fully trust and respect your decision making, she will fall into your center and embrace all that you are, but you have to be confident and own it or she will instinctively test you constantly. It’s nature’s way of ensuring that the strongest survive.

The Pull Back

The most infuriating thing in the world for us guys is when you’re dating and texting a girl early on and out of nowhere she pulls back and ghosts you. This is her testing to see if you will start acting weak and needy, she wants to see if you will start blowing up her phone and freaking out on her like most guys inevitably do. When she does this you need to act accordingly, DON’T TEXT HER. Men fall in love a lot faster than women do and its almost a sure fire guarantee that around the third week you are going to be over-pursuing her in one way or another. Staying in your center and focusing on your work, hobbies, and mission during this period is key. Don’t be the one to initiate contact, let her reach out to you, stay calm, don’t blow up on her for not texting back and just be patient. She wants to know that she can’t rock your boat, especially this early on.

Jumping Through Hoops

At some point in your relationship a woman will start to try and get you to jump through hoops, she will ask you to bring her ice cream or have you stop to pick something up on the way over to see her. This happens early on and typically guys are so into a girl that not only do they bring the ice cream, they bring her flowers as well to “surprise” her. Don’t do this, it has a negative effect on her attraction for you and now she is going to expect it all the time. The “hoop” test starts to happen again any time the guy is starting to act needy, its like a secret weapon she controls from her under her skirt, the guy thinks he can buy his way into her pants. The guaranteed way to get friend zoned is to buy her a bunch of stuff and be a “nice guy.” Instead of buying her flowers and playing nice guy, reverse it on her by having her do something for you, like: “I’m only bringing you ice cream if your making dinner” or if you want to be a little more ballsy tell her you’ll only bring ice cream if she spoon feeds it to you naked. Be careful saying stuff like that though, you have to know each others level of jokes and playfulness to get away with that type of thing.

The Jealousy Test

The jealousy test is probably the toughest one to pass for most men and its a sure sign that things aren’t going as well as you think. Even when things are going well women will sometimes put you in a situation where you have to be confident that she is 100% yours. When a man is not providing a woman with the emotional support that she needs or is being complacent and not pursuing his mission some women will make remarks about a guy at work or talk about something nice that an ex did for them. Women don’t come right out and tell you what they want, they communicate through the metaphysical, through their emotions and how they feel in the moment, she wants you to make her feel good. Women will also test your loyalty to them by pointing out another girl while you are out. She might say something like “wow, that girl is beautiful isn’t she?” Don’t agree with her, she doesn’t want to be compared to other women, look her in the eyes and say “the only beautiful women I see here is you sweat heart”

The Line in the Sand

The one thing no woman will ever tell you but every woman really wants is a man who will draw a line in the sand and not let her cross it. Women love to have their toes in the sand and even more than that they want to see if they can sneak a toe past your line. This type of testing never ends, the more you pass, the less she will do it, stay centered and you’ll have a much easier time. When you tell her something like: “honey I really don’t like it when you leave your makeup in the sink,” she may test you the next day by doing it anyway. She wants you to call her out on it to test your consistency and feel your strength. The key here is that she wants to see if you will get mad, she’s testing to see if you will stay centered, the makeup and where it goes is irrelevant. The way you pass this test is by being playful and conveying the message that she can’t sway you or shake your masculine core. Don’t get mad, say something like “babe, it looks like you’re going to have to get all new makeup, I shaved this morning and got beard hair all over it.” Walk over and hand her the makeup, give her a kiss on the forehead and say “nice try” with a smile. Getting better at little tests like this will help when a more serious issue arises.

The Buddha in a Hurricane

Feminine energy is chaotic in nature, you have to be strong and centered in order to deal with it properly. When you are unable to pass her tests a woman will start to switch into her masculine energy, she has to protect herself from weakness. Passing all of these tests requires the same playful banter that I described above, you don’t want to be an abusive a**hole. You’ve probably heard stories of women who stay with verbally or even worse physically abusive men and never leave. Some of this has to do with the fear of retaliation but more so some women mistake this behavior for strength. A centered and confident man maintains his line in the sand by being playful and keeping his woman safe, a weak man who is controlled by his emotions lacks the ability to stay centered will resorts to force. You have to always be calm, centered and in control of your emotions in order to open up space for her feminine energy to grow. When you are searching for someone to have a relationship with its good to pay close attention to her tests, when a woman really likes you she won’t test you as often. There are plenty of women out there so don’t settle for one who is constantly testing you, for your sake and hers as well. If she is head over heals in love with you she will make the tests easy to pass and even better yet, some girls who understand their feminine essence well will help you pass a test when you botch it. Her energy is like a hurricane, it is the full force of nature and when she is in her feminine energy she is playful, fun and happy but it is turbulent, you need to know how to stay collected and centered. When she is fun and playful, don’t be needy, when she gets upset don’t get angry. Be like the Buddha and stay focused on your mission and purpose always, this will provide her with the space to be free and thrive in the side of herself that keeps her stress free.