The age old question that men have undoubtedly talked about around campfires and in bars for as long as humans have had the ability to engage in conversation. What is it that women really want? We are taught from a young age through TV and movies what modern society thinks women want, this is one of the biggest factors in why relationships fail. TV isn’t real life, and the nice guy that chases the girl until she finally gives in doesn’t win in real life. The truth is way more complicated and probably brutal than you care to know.

Biologically women are designed to seek out and breed with the highest stock of men, they want the strongest, fastest, risk taking man they can find to insure the longevity and continuation of their bloodline. Most women don’t even know this themselves but thousands of years of evolution have created built in mechanisms that cause women to act in a way that facilitates hypergamy (breeding up). Regardless of what a woman tells you she wants, when she is in the presence of a strong, charismatic, and confident man that displays positive evolutionary traits, she is going to open up and be receptive to him.

Even masculine “strong” women will open up and shift into their feminine energy when they are around a guy that displays positive evolutionary traits. This is the source of most men’s jealousy in a relationship, he sees his wife or girlfriend open up to another man in ways that she hasn’t for him and feels inferior. Men have to understand that she isn’t doing this to hurt him, she absolutely cannot help but feel safe in this man’s presence and be inclined to open up, biology is what it is. It’s important to know that most women have a lot higher degree of integrity than men and are able to curb their primal desires to not let them destroy their life or relationship through infidelity.

Women seek out two things from a potential partner, good stock, and good dad. The unfortunate reality of men is that most of the guys who are “good stock” are not the kind of men who want to settle down and have a family, they are the type of men who are ambitious, hungry for success and adventurous, unfortunately along with that hunger for adventure comes the need to spread his “good genes” far and wide. I don’t like the term and typically avoid using it but traditionally this type of man is considered an “alpha male.”

These are the types of men that women want sexually and no matter who they are with and for how long, they will always open up and be flirty in the presence of a man that they perceive to be an “alpha,” there is nothing you can do about it and blaming her for it is beta behavior. If a woman gets the chance to date one of these men, no matter who she is or what she wants out of life, she will give up everything to have the chance to be in his orbit. A woman’s perception of what “alpha” is, is relative to the girl, what one woman considers alpha may vary to a degree in the next woman but all alpha’s are confident, ambitious, and strong. A man who is an “alpha” may not be that way throughout his life, it is common for a man who displays these characteristics to become complacent in a relationship and allow his woman’s perception of him to shift from “alpha” to “beta.”

The other type of man that women want is the good father, ultimately they want to find the “alpha” that is willing to settle down and have a family. Of the approximate 2-3% of the male population that fall into the “alpha” category, the amount of these men that are willing to settle down is very few. Often times the ones who do feel pressure from society to conform and settle down often end up leaving or becoming self destructive after several years of marriage. If a woman can’t procure a higher status man to start a family she will settle for a higher status “beta” (another term I try to avoid). She will love this man and be good to him throughout their relationship but she may not be IN love with him.

There are women who will marry men that fit the “good dad” criteria without ever actually being in love with him for security, remember women love in two ways, motherly love and passionate love. Good woman with a sense of morals who are not IN love with their husbands will read romance novels and watch steamy Netflix shows to fulfill their need for passionate love but women who lack integrity will often times have an affair and blame their husband for not being “what she wants.” One of my good friends frequents a restaurant where a couple works together, she is a bartender and he works in the kitchen, they are engaged to be married, however the bartender girl will flit and text my friend almost in a way that makes it seem like she wants to get caught. Women who do this find excitement in the danger of it while using it also as a test of their husband to see if he will allow himself to be walked on. This is far more common than you’d think.

The difference between myself and others who understand this about women is that I don’t blame woman for being women, I blame men for being weak. It’s not my goal to try and change the nature of women or fault them for who they are. You can get mad about the nature of women and become an angry incel or you can use this information to improve your game and/or your relationship. I think most women would agree that modern men just don’t get it. There are women out there who understand what I’m saying and if you meet one and show that you want to be her “king” she will help you, these women are like the gold of the modern world. They understand their feminine nature and know that if they can help a man fulfill his potential she will receive the fruits of his labor. Trust me bros they are few and far between but they do exist.

Women want subtlety, they want restraint, they want resistance to feminine energy, especially attractive women. A girl who is a 10 gets hit on by the most disgusting perverts and random weirdos all day long, you don’t even get close to understanding this as a man until you get into bodybuilding and even then the 2 girls in your DMs don’t compare to the 25 messages she received while you were having Chipotle with her on a Wednesday. Women always have options, and because of this, they want the highest quality man out of that pool of options. They want a man that they are not sure they can get, studies have shown that women are attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear.

Never buy into the modern trope that women want you to be vulnerable to them, it makes them feel like they have to be your mom or therapist. The plethora of options that women have gives them the ability to sniff out weak and needy men, they can tell not only from the things you say but also your body language. Women want men that march to the beat of their own drum, they want a man who is confident, strong, knows what he wants, why he wants it and is willing to risk everything to have it, his words need to match his actions and he needs to be willing to walk away from anyone or anything that doesn’t serve his purpose and mission.

Women know what is best for men, not by what they say but how they love, a man that is functioning fully in his masculine energy will rarely disappoint the woman in his relationship simply by being unapologetically himself. What they really want is a man they have to chase, they want to be in a love story. Married men often find themselves in the situation where they have become desperate and have fallen into their wife’s frame, in other words, they are chasing their wife. A woman will love a man that is chasing her, but she biologically cannot be IN love unless she is chasing a man. This doesn’t mean that if you’re married you need to leave your wife of spend every night at the bar but it does mean that you need to be more focused on your mission and your life and not focused on pleasing her. Every man will at some point become complacent or slip up, it is important to properly vet the woman you decide to marry and make sure she has enough integrity to stick with you when you do.

What women want and how they love is beautiful yet brutal. Nothing will hurt a man more than chasing and being in love with a woman who is not IN love with him. The more he tries to please her, the less respect she will have for him. She will instinctively walk all over him and show no sympathy for his feelings. Staying centered and focused on your mission is what is best for a man and it is ultimately what she wants as well. Nice guys really do finish last, the moment you become the nice guy its only matter of time before she finds a bad boy to take your place. A lot of guys become jaded once they realize this about women but that is the wrong way to approach it, you have to see it for what it is and learn to love it.