When you hear someone talk about energies the first thing you probably think about is astrology or the lady at the local new age shop that sells crystals. You can surf the internet and find every form of bad take that pertains to energy but no matter what some wizard on the internet says, you aren’t going to be able to make fireballs with your hand or move furniture with a magic wand.

Energy is however, a very real thing. Masculine and feminine energy underlies all of human nature, it forms the basis of all human interaction and is the primary driving force behind attraction. Men and women have both a masculine and feminine energy, it isn’t a black and white distinction, sometimes men are in their feminine and sometimes women are in their masculine. This shift from masculine to feminine can change in a person minute to minute or even stay mostly static in one or the other energy for a lifetime.

Masculine and feminine energy is not gender specific however, if for example a man is in his feminine more often than his masculine energy he may experience heavy emotions such as depression that can have a negative effect on his overall health. Same sex couples tend to understand masculine and feminine energy better than most straight couples and many lesbian women seeking to cultivate their masculine side have had great success through masculinity coaching.

What is Masculine Energy?

There is a lot of stigma around masculinity in the modern age that confuses a lot of people about what masculinity actually is. Being “macho”, fast cars, and doing keg stands is not masculine energy. Violent men who abuse women are not a result of masculine energy, in fact it is typically a result of a mans feminine energy overwhelming him with uncontrolled emotions. Masculine energy provides safety for feminine energy to blossom and truly masculine men don’t abuse or even argue with a woman.

Masculine energy is typically characterized by purpose, responsibility, drive, ambition, accomplishing goals, opening up space and providing safety, taking action, etc. Success in a career and staying calm under pressure are aspects of masculinity that both men and women use to achieve higher aims in life. When a man displays a masculine presence it is felt by everyone around him, he is charismatic, confident and driven, he is not controlled by his emotions or desire, and is dedicated to his higher purpose and mission in life. Many ancient myths and legends use aspects of chaos and order. Masculine energy is order, it is mankind’s innate ability to take the chaos of nature and mold it into something useful. This is the origin of the Sky Father and Earth Mother that exists in nearly all cultures throughout history.

What is Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy is playfulness, creativity, bonding, it’s the rush of desire, the beauty of art, birth and death. Feminine energy naturally submits to masculine energy because of its need to be vulnerable. A woman who is in her feminine tends to radiate attraction to men almost like we can see her glowing, she will wear makeup and dresses more often, dance and be playful, she’s graceful and flowing.

When a man has a higher feminine energy he tends to be susceptible to his desires, alcoholism, pornography, drug use, over-eating, gambling etc.he tends to be more vulnerable, whether it be unnecessary violence, depression or neediness. Feminine energy wants to open up and relax, it wants to be free and it comes and goes in waves. Since masculinity is about becoming, it is extremely common for even very masculine men to slide into their feminine energy by becoming complacent in a marriage for example. Feminine energy consumes, masculine energy builds.

Polarity and Attraction

Attraction works like a magnet, feminine energy is attracted to masculine energy, though it is a generalization, typically feminine women like masculine men, masculine women are attracted to feminine men, the same rule applies to same sex couples. Masculine energy is the rejection of desire, and feminine energy seeks to consume the masculine. Unless you are able to create polarity between two people, whether it be a relationship or a potential date, attraction won’t arise.

A masculine man and a masculine woman can and do date but typically end up in a sexless relationship, often times the man will start to slip into his feminine energy without even realizing when he is unable to get the woman into hers. One of the most common situations I see are masculine women who attract more feminine men end up starting a family, the woman loses attraction and respect for him and has an affair or he becomes an alcoholic. Most relationships fail when polarity is not made a priority, this is becoming an increasing problem in the modern world as woman move more into their masculine and men into their feminine. 26% of couples did not have sex at all in 2021 likely due to a lack of sexual polarity and lowered testosterone levels in men.

Conclusion

Movies and television give us false realities about how attraction works and the increasing emphasis on becoming more individual has made relationships far more difficult in our time. Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives yet many people are willing to deal with a mediocre or unhappy relationship in order to pursue personal pleasure or personal gain. Learning how to live a healthy life while also keeping your partner happy is difficult but necessary. Learning how to maintain polarity between masculine and feminine in a relationship is the key to a long lasting happy relationship and understanding how masculine and feminine energy works is fundamental to cultivating polarity.