Complacency is your worst enemy.

The harsh reality of marriage is that men assume that once they put that ring on her finger, she’s theirs, but the truth is, she’s not. Unfortunately a lot of men learn, often the hard way that feminine energy needs constant stimulation. Most men, roughly 80%, will marry a woman and over time stop treating her the way he did when they first start dating. They stop using playful banter, taking her on dates, and over time they start to talk to her about the day to day problems in their life, their bad day at work, etc. and soon begin to expose to her their dirty laundry.

You have to always remember Cindy Lauper’s famous phrase “girls just want to have fun,” if you always provide an atmosphere of playfulness and intention it keeps her light hearted and happy. There are always responsibilities and she wants to know that you are taking care of your responsibilities and having fun doing it, don’t turn her into your therapist. Modern women are spiritually stronger than men due to their primal maternal instinct and will power to step up when her man is lacking. It’s important to note that there are some feminist type woman who find pleasure in controlling the relationship, most women don’t, but a man who isn’t aware of how a woman’s attraction works can easily find himself in a situation with a woman who is so adamant about holding the reins that in trying to please her he loses himself entirely.

The most important thing that I teach married men, in terms of love, is that women love in two different ways, “the mother” and “the lover.” You don’t want to end up in a place where she feels like she has to be your mother, once she has that idea of you in her mind, you will have a lot of work to do. Men are inherently weak and lazy, they want to come home from work, crack open a beer, watch a game and relax, this is fine so long as your wife’s view of you is positive. A continued pattern of complacency will cause the woman to start taking charge of many of the responsibilities and start blaming him for her not being able to have fun, women are not attracted to boring men.

Someone has to make these decisions, and it’s not a bad thing that the woman does it when a man is not on his game. A strong woman will handle the entire spectrum of a marriage or relationship so long as the man is not pulling his weight but if this persists until her respect for him dwindles too far he’s in trouble. There will at some point in most marriages be a time when a man slips, having a strong woman who can step up in these moments is invaluable for a family unit but catastrophic for a mans sexual and mental health. One of the signs that your wife is losing attraction for you is if she is less affectionate and often seems “bitchy,” excuse my language. How you deal with this behavior is vital to a long lasting happy marriage.

When these patterns start to occur, the vast majority of men start making all of the wrong decisions. Some men start to argue with her and blame her, even call her names, some men start burying their frustration in self destructive behavior or infidelity, porn addiction, alcoholism, etc. Women will tolerate this sort of behavior for months or even years before their attraction totally dries up and they leave, the majority of guys never see it coming. This doesn’t mean women are not at fault, most women will only invest energy into the intimate parts a relationship when her attraction level is high but you can not blame her for it, you simply have to fully master yourself and know that all of your decisions are in line with your purpose in life before you can choose to leave her or she falls back in love with you.

You’ve probably heard a woman say “I love him, but I’m not IN love with him,” this is essentially her saying that her attraction for the guy has vanished, at this point she sees herself as your “mother” and not your “lover.” Women will stay with a man that she is not IN love with indefinitely, some woman will even marry a man that they love but are not IN love with for security. The longer it goes on the harder it is to recover from.

Helping men understand how to stay centered when the relationship starts to go off the rails is my mission. My work focuses on teaching men how to read a woman’s attraction levels and stay strong and centered when the attraction begins to wain while focusing on rebuilding himself into the confident, charming, and fun guy she originally fell in love with. If your wife isn’t coming up and wrapping her arms around you and giving you affection like she did when you first started dating then her attraction has dropped, maybe even more than you realize. Click the email button at the bottom of the page so I can let you in on a secret that only 2% of men have figured out, a secret that will get your wife infatuated with you again.